"I went into labor at 21 weeks": Mom shares how her baby fought to survive With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. The husband is now a soon-to-be-ex-husband. It's not good. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. He drinks every night. I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior? I mean PISSED. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. I know you probably came on here just to vent about your guy being insensitive to your worries, but I have to speak up when I see such specific and high quantities related to drinking. So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. The tendency to hide their problems is also a common characteristic among alcoholics. Water Breaking: Signs, Timing, Causes, Complications - Verywell Health Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. Husband, I swear by my ugly faded hospital gown, I will end you. Okay I did not go through labor we adopted our son but the night they called to say the birthmom was in labor I was at church while my husband was at home. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. good luck! Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. He didnt answer, because he was ASLEEP since hed been working so hard. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. My wife was not pleased. You should also try to increase your intake of healthy food and exercise regularly, as this will help you stay healthy both physically and mentally. Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?! I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. Im pregnant. He's drunk. Should i be angry? | Mumsnet Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. By. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. I would definitely tell him if he's buzzed he is not welcome in the delivery room because it will only cause you more distress while you're trying to bring your first child into this world. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? Bern Morley. When to Go to the Hospital for Labor - Verywell Family The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! Thank you! If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. Will I Go Into Labor? 25 Signs Baby's Coming - Trimester Talk When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. I did tell him that HE would be the one calling them letting them know the situation. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. 10 Foods Expectant Moms Have Eaten to Induce Labor - Food & Wine Nipple Stimulation. June 3, 2022 prince tui teka daughters. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! Into the car it went. I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. My husband was too drunk to take me to L&D last night (vent) (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. I tell her I need to go home. Its so crazy, right? I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. 7 min read. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). I will never know. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . He did later apologize. I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. Jackass. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. So, that's the fvcked up part. Now, I love Firefly, but I will forever associate Captain Malcolm Reynolds saying I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you with the start of the worst pain of my life. You are pregnant, not we are pregnant. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Do Hurricanes Really Make Pregnant Women Go Into Labor? - The Atlantic Sure having a bonfire or watching a big game with the buddies and having that many once and a while is no big deal, but being unable, or unwilling, to stop drinking heavily on a regular basis should be a huge red flag. I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." Drinking several drinks a night to "unwind" after a hard day at work on a regular basis is indicative of a dependency. Wondering how to deal with an alcoholic spouse? Prodromal Labor | Contractions That Start & Stop - Trimester Talk I said the baby is coming now. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. Having. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. There is no pattern. I wouldnt have had more babys with a guy who could care less that I was having the first.. How could you have any more kids with someone after that are u crazy. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. I went into labor at 10:30am Saturday morning and, this being my first child, I didnt know it. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. They would know that their behavior will only add trouble than solve any problem. I was also in the middle of a contraction when he said that. ? At 7 am, doctor broke my water. Woo hoo! The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. I ended up wandering around the hospital and eventually bumped into him as he was on his way back in We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. Emergency delivery: What to do when the baby's coming - right now At 2am I finally was in some relief from my epidural and was hoping to MAYBE take a nap before go time. I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. He told the registering nurse, my room nurse, my midwife, my doula, ANYONE who had ears our WHOLE life story. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. Labor and delivery for Baby #3 were pretty uneventful, but I made it clear that I considered being in the hospital a vacation of sorts. Birthing partner 101: Advice for partners and dads during labor My DH does not drink every night but he is a binge drinker when he/we drink. Baby. I finally woke him up to help me time them, since they were getting more intense. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, I was on the bouncy ball for a half hour waiting and then went to check on him. Unbeknownst to her, it was contractions. It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. This must help. Or a little bit of both? 9 Signs Labor Is Near: How to Tell Your Baby Will Come Soon - Parents Boo freaking hoo! but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. As soon as they moved me into the rooms near the nursery, he went home because he was tired and me being in labor kept him up all night. You can't drive yourself, and if he's been drinking that much then you are taking cab. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! Apparently i was keeeping him awake. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. So my dad went bowling. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . One such instance can be when they start behaving rudely under the influence of alcohol.
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